I prefer "new car" smell...

Oh man! I wanna be at X-Games Fifteen!

Why, why, whyyyy did Axe make a spray that smells like leather? Realllly?!

"Hey guy, i'm a vegetarian, I really wish you smelled like dead cow hide"

No thanks.

I'm all for men smelling good, but leather is just...nasty.

Omg. Not only did they create this crap, but Axe threw a leather party! How dare they!! So uncool and unnecessary. Boo, Axe, boo!

EPIC WIN

Just got home from the Idols Live concert... [[don't judge]]

I'm not going to review the whole show, because, well, that's just unnecessary, but I will say two things:

1. Adam Lambert is a sexual GOD. I think he could possibly turn a straight man gay. Sort of like Dani Campbell from Tila Tequila turned me a little bi. Dani if you're out there, I live like, 20 minutes from you...I'm single and still interested! ha...no joke...someone find her for me. She's in Deerfield...somewhere....

2. Kris Allen is a talented, sexy, wonderful, under-appreciated performer! Far exceeded my expectations! A+!!!!

I took a crapload of pics but they are on Ilana's camera...patiently awaiting their arrival in my inbox so I can share with all you haters ;]

I got yet another compliment on my glasses tonight..from a woman, no less. Not sure I understand it..I never see people in glasses and feel compelled to talk about them, but people say stuff about mine ALL the time. It was nice of her to say though. I think people should give each other more compliments.

Dear Readers,

You are beautiful. NEVER, never forget it, or let ANYONE tell you otherwise.

Love, Jamie.

My cat is a superhero. She runs at the speed of light.

Oh! Pics have arrived! and I have lost most of you by this point because this post is too long.

Soooo...goodnight and enjoy!! IDOLS FTW!!!!

The Return of the Maintenance Man

Before I tell the maintenance guy story, I must say that everyone should check out this article: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/26/magazine/26FOB-2DLove-t.html?_r=1

What an interesting concept....

Ok, onwards...

The maintenance man came back today. I was sleeping, and not in clothes. He knocks, rings the doorbell..I wake up, realizing I'm not dressed and panic. These dudes have a key, and my room is thisclose to the front door. I run to close the bedroom door, throw some clothes on, just in time for him to turn the key and come in.

Long story short, something was wrong with the AC downstairs, he had to drain it from up here. He then proceeded to ask me if I had a bf, and why did my last one break up with me, "is he blind?" LOL I thought that was kinda cute. He made sure he was off the clock again to say all this.

Then he offered me free drugs...

the end.

there's really no hope, is there? show me a signnnn hahahahaha

Everybody Get Dangerous

I want to watch Family Matters so bad.

What ever happened to men courting women? Urkel courted Laura, annoyingly, yes, but he did it. Can we go back to that?

I can barely get a man to call me. Technology has ruined all conventions. The internet gives us false hope. There is no "getting to know you" any more. There's no time to have a crush.

I act like if I had someone courting me I'd be happy, which isn't really true either. I tend to turn my nose up at compliments, and doting behavior. What is wrong with women?! We all do it, I know it...but I can't really figure it out. Like I wonder if Taylor Hanson was courting me if I'd be such a bitch?

Anyway. There are a ton of commercials for that show Holidate. I wanna go on it. Not so much for finding a man, but just to get the heck outta Florida for a bit. Be alone in a different city..I need excitement! Bring on the Family Matters re-runs!

HOLIDATE

hahaha i put in an application to be on a dating show. this is NOT the first one i've applied for. cool or pathetic? don't answer that.

"I just love, love" -- Elvis Duran

Every morning I listen to the same morning show. They always bring up the greatest topics. On my way to work this morning they were talking about getting burned by coins that have sat in the sun too long and are left on your car seat. This in fact, has happened to me! So I decided to call, anddd...I got through! Very cool. You can hear it here: www.y100.com. Pretty sure I said like, a sentence, but it was funny nonetheless. Beware of hot money!

They also brought up how hooking up can make people lonely. I'm going to have to agree. I'm in this weird phase in my non-existent love life. I tend to dwell on past relationships (comfort level no doubt) which is definitely putting a damper on my current relationships. Well, lack thereof, really.

I have not dated anyone consistently in months. I'm not even sleeping with anyone consistently. It's rough. I use hookups to fill the relationship void but it totally doesn't work. And then there's the people I DON'T hook up with, which is a whole other realm. I hang out with someone once, and then never get the courage to see them again? What's wrong with me?

It's all about the chase. Don't let me catch you! We'll both wind up lonely..ha.

My, My, My

I think I've managed to feel EVERY emotion today.

I've also had a running list going in my head of all the things I wanted to talk about tonight, but I've exhausted myself into completely losing all of those thoughts.

I really need to get my blogging done earlier in the day when I'm relatively together.

I keep getting messages on the dating site about my glasses. They ask "what is the first thing people notice about you?" So I said my glasses. And lo and behold..it seems to be true.

I wonder if people would still think they were hot if I told them they were fake..

They're not.

I bet you're wondering about the picture with this post. I BET you think they are something kinky.

They're not.

They're Pier 1's new "assorted massagers." Use as you please, I suppose. Use on me, please.

Wildfire!

In the spirit of seeking internet stardom I'm here to promote my friends glorious antics!

Follow my buddy Logan on twitter: http://twitter.com/thefuzznasty and Paul: http://twitter.com/Rival33

and read Josh's blog: http://troglodyticphilosophy.blogspot.com/
(a refreshing dose of philosophy...the complete opposite of my mindless banter)

and Jessi's, although she only has a few posts, they're still very entertaining!: http://twogirlsonebottle.blogspot.com/

Yay!

Also. If you dig fun to read, non-biased (for the most part) reviews, check out Lunch.com

I recommend: http://www.lunch.com/devora

and of course... : http://www.lunch.com/shelikespurple [Guess who?]

Thanks!

Sneezes

Feel awesome. I bet sneezing while "in the act" would be pretty rad. Bring the pepper.

So, I found a new rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and I'm a big fan:

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
You're a ball of gas that's very far
32 light-years in the sky
10 parsecs which is really high...

This is just one of the songs they are singing at "Camp Quest," a camp for children of atheists and non-believers. Hell yeah rational thinking!

What I would give to talk to some of these kids! I'm not interested in what adult atheists have to say, they've had ages to form their opinions, and were probably not originally raised as atheists, but I bet these kids have a whole lot of new insight. I wonder if any of them will do a turn-around as adults and decide to be a Jew for Jesus or something. I hope not.

Free thinkers are dangerous. -- quick name that quote!

P.S.- I just heard about knowhowtogo.org and i'm very excited. It's a site to help kids get more out of their high school education by knowing what classes to take pre-college. "In these economic times," it is totally important for us to take advantage of what little pubic schools still offer. I wish I had taken more AP classes in HS, definitely worth getting rid of those prereqs while still in HS, you gotta be there anyway...

I encourage anyone with a high-school aged kid to check out the site, and send your kid to Atheist camp! Wooo! Sneeze more often while you're at it.

Go Marlins!

Yep. They lost.

I highly recommend going to a day game in 100 degree weather. I also recommend you start drinking at 11:30 a.m.

No, really. That's exactly what I did today, and I had a blast. Of course I was regretting it circa 5p.m. but now it's 9p.m. and i'm somehow managing to get some laundry done and enjoying this new Lindsay Lohan movie on ABC Family.

I really think Lindsay is underrated as an actress. I'm not saying she's good, but I feel like she tends to play these wholesome characters and she does that fairly well. I can only hope she keeps getting these roles and maybe they will turn her around.

This is the most disjointed post ever. I have beer brain.

My cat is so cute. I came home to vomit, but it was right next to the litter box. She's trying.

Then she ate it.

So cute.

This day needs to end. Sorry for the worst post. Tomorrow I will be refreshed and ready to rock on roll! Bewareeeeeeeeee.

P.S.- Watch Labor Pains on ABC Family if it airs again. I approve. Oh snap! It's on again right now! ahhahahaha

Things in Common

So, I was already struggling to decide what I wanted to write on today, but upon checking my e-mail, it hit me.

This will require a short background on my current situation:

I'm on a dating website, as meeting anyone IRL has proven pretty difficult, for a variety of reasons (i'm a hermit, i work(ed) too much, lack of friends (until recently), quality men in South Florida are very far and few between..the list goes on).

Anyway, so, the dating site.

I get countless messages from guys daily, all with the relatively same theme: "You're cute, I like your profile, I think we have some things in common, we should chat. P.S.- Hanson is gay."

You think we have some things in common?! Really?!!?!! Brilliant line guys, brilliant line. Of course we do. We're human, aren't we? I have things in common with Taylor Hanson, does that mean we should "chat?" Yeah. Nope.

This same sort of thing goes with my feelings on horoscopes. They are just generic messages created for us to evoke a feeling of "oh now my day has meaning." We can all read a horoscope and somehow mold our sick heads into thinking it applies to us. Try it tomorrow. I was born Oct. 18, which makes me a Libra. Tomorrow I think I'll be a Taurus. Then I will write back one of those guys and see what crazy things he thinks we may have in common. Ha.

I swear I'm not bitter.

In fact--something really endearing happened today.

The maintenance guy at my complex has a crush on me. He made it a point one day when we ran into each other to tell me, right after he made it clear it was his day off, so he wouldn't get in trouble I assume.

He came by today to fix something and was just so damn nice. His biggest concern was that I wasn't working too hard, and that I lock the door as soon as he left. Shame those were the only words I could pick out of his Spanglish. Nonetheless, cheers to the nice guy who was brave enough to show it in person.

Happy Caturday!

BTW..

Follow my even more boring life on twitter: https://twitter.com/plumsntheicebox

For Those Curious about Blog Name...

This Is Just To Say
by William Carlos Williams
I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast Forgive me they were delicious so sweet and so cold Have you ever gotten that kind of impulse? I forgive you William!

The Infamous First Post

I'm not 100% sure what a blog entails exactly.

Wikipedia defines it as: a type of website, usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video.

Ok. I will try to include all of those and then some!

Onward!

Here are some things to look forward to:

• reviews on products you will probably never use
• stories of my trials and tribulations in the dating world
• my plan to become a grown-up
• obsessive talk about my cat

Such is the life of a single girl in South Florida.

So we begin...